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'And some of the females held my banner' (qasida 6:6) This is the motto for this section, which is either for the women view points or for the things that matter the most for them. You can find all special expressions in the Glossary. We need your comments to develop this site for you.
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Teaching children at an early age
Dear mothers and fathers, We belong to a great religion that teaches us the importance of starting to guide our children at a young age, even from the time they are born. Mawlana, in this context, said: “Children begin to learn from the day they are born". But that was hard for us to conceive. Therefore, he added: "Being nice to them, being a model, and being keen enough to take our children to places of Dhikr and Hadra is the way to have such goal achieved". Yet, we were wondering if they could appreciate such places or even value them! Mawlana then said: "Take them with you to places of hadra and worship, and after you are done, buy them candies and do them the things they like most. In this way, they will spontaneously develop that sort of association between Hadra and the things they love most, and this in itself is education". Mawlana had told us before that when babies cry, we should not interfere at once and try to make them stop crying, because angels do come when children cry. That’s why, we were not surprised at the Hadith saying: (Don’t punish your children for crying! A child’s cry is equal to saying [there is no God but Allah] "La Ilaha Illa Allah" for the first four months. It is also, equal to saying "prayers & peace be upon Muhammad" (PPBUH) for the next four months and is equal to praying for his parents for the next four months). Narrated Sayiduna Umar (AAH). Nevertheless, the prophet urges us to teach our children even through entertainment and fun. Al-qirab said by virtue of Makhool on the authority of Abu Ad-dardaa’ that prophet Muhammad (PPBUH) said: (you may spend your pastime in one of three things: training your horse, archery or playing with your family). Thus, the messenger of Allah encouraged us to entertain and show affection towards our children. Hence, through developed mutual love and care, they may look up to us as models, not just as tutors.
Therefore, teaching children good deeds at an early age makes it profound in them. Ibn Abi Shaibah and Al-tabarani narrated by virtue of Massoud: (Make sure your children preserve praying and accustom them to doing good deeds, for it’s a habit). Education is an ongoing, non-stop process with which parents should not be bored. Parents are to follow up on educating their children as they grow up. Muhammad (PPBUH) said: (Be generous to your children and educate them well), Anas Ibn Malik narrated, Ibn Magah. Also, (the child's right to his father is to teach him writing, swimming and Archery), narrated Abu Rafec. Bakr Ibn Abdallah ibn Zuraiq Al-ansary narrated that Muhammad (PPBUH) said: (Teach your children archery and swimming! weaving is the best thing for a female believer to spend her pastime in and if both of your parents called for you, answer your mother first!). Of course weaving was the best suitable work that a woman could support her family with. Sayiduna Umar (AAH) once wrote to the people of Basra - a town in Iraq - saying: “Teach your children Literature and wisdoms!”.In the same context, Aisha (AAH) said “Teach your children Poetry, in order for them to be eloquent”. Moreover, Ali Ibn Abu Taleb (AHHF) said: “command your children to seek knowledge!”, Ibn Amshaleeq. Not only does our religion command parents to discipline their children and educate them what is suitable for their future, but Allah also rewards them for doing so. Prophet Muhammad (PPBUH) said: (It’s better for a father to discipline his children than to give away big charity) narrated Al Termezi. In another story: (There is no gift a father may offer his children better than good manners). Ibn Abu Shaibah narrated by virtue of Al-dahaak Ibn Qais (Oh, people teach your children and families the Qura’n, because if a Muslim is destined to go to paradise, he will be received by two angels who will be ascending him through different levels of paradise upto what he learned of Qura’n). Another Hadith, in this context, said: (whoever sits with his spouse reading the verse that says [And I have said: Seek pardon of your Lord. Lo! He was ever forgiving.* He will let loose the sky for you in plenteous rain,* And will give you with wealth and sons, and will assign unto you gardens of Heaven and will assign unto you rivers] (Noah: 9.10.11), will be given children, wealth and a plenty of livelihood). Also, there is a Hadith that says: (if a Muslim died, leaving behind him who shall follow his suit and his prayers, he shall not be deemed dead). And another hadith said: (There is no greater guilt that a believer may face god with than leaving behind an ignorant family). The form and means of education have always been associated with age. Ibn Abi Shaibah and Abu Dawud and Al hakem said by virtue of Amr Ibn Shucaib on the authority of his father and grandfather that Muhammad (PPBUH) said: (Command your children to offer prayers at the age of seven, punish them for it at the age of ten and separate between them in beds”. Anas narrated that Muhammad (PPBUH) said: (Command children to offer prayers at the age of seven and punish them for it at the age of thirteen”. Loving Muhammad (PPBUH) is the most important thing for a child to learn. To be continued ,,,
Written by Samia Sacid Translated by Noha
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An article by a Sudanese woman directed to Arab women:(December 2009 issue)
Unfortunately, most of our Arabic societies do not understand the true meaning behind parenting, or let us just say that they do not give it the level of importance it deserves as evident in the obvious withdrawal of our best social values. It has also been seen that most resources dedicated for providing valuable insights about parenting are non-sophisticated and depend on the legacy of old inheritances which are outdated and can no longer keep pace with the spirit and the concept of the world of today. This brings us to the question; is everything that we have inherited in terms of methods and styles of parenting applicable to today’s generation; the generation that has been immersed in the Digital World, Internet, and Mobile Technology? Don’t you think that some of these methods and styles of parenting need to be reconsidered and revisited for further development?
We do not want to repeat the work of the earlier sociologists and educators; those who have established the foundation and laid out the principles of parenting and we certainly do not mean to deny the roles of our parents or diminish their significance. However, everyone can see that the pace of our lives have changed dramatically as a result of the easy access to information and knowledge sharing evident in our children’s realizations about life’s phenomena and the complicated questions they ask their parents. We have also noticed the broadened horizon that our children enjoy as a result of utilizing the technological advancements of today’s world such as the Video Games, Televisions, and the use of computers. Thus, parents need to look for alternative parenting styles and methods that are more developed and well researched in order to cope with the challenges and issues related to today’s baby boom. This will help develop a better bond between parents and children and might make advices and directions to children and the youngsters become more appealing and acceptable. Since our most precious and best societal values do not change with time or place, we therefore need to look for new solutions that will help us embed such values in our children at an early age while considering the application and utilization of the most modern applicable parenting styles even if we have to study 'parenting' extensively. It is not wise that parents become very successful at their work or personal businesses but fail at home in parenting their children. It is also important to note that many western countries have different set of beliefs and traditions that may not sound or look appealing and acceptable to us as Muslim Societies, and thus, we need to inform our children who may get a chance to interact with them at schools or any other place not to become impressed by such traditions. It is also important to teach our children not to judge those societies by how they look or carry themselves; they should be able to distinguish and learn their success values and ignore other ones. Let us make the future of our children our life long investment. We should have our children embrace the Islamic values; those values extracted from the Holy Quran since they sure are applicable anywhere and anytime; Allah said praising the Prophet Mohammad 'PPBUH' [And verily, you (O Muhammad) are on an exalted standard of character] (Al-Qalam 68:4) and Sayyida Aisha 'AAH' said about the Prophet Mohammad 'PPBUH' (His morality was the Quran).
Written by Hoda Abdul-Maged Translated by Mohannad
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